Lagniappe: Texts from Don Quixote

Dulcinea
DULCINEA
BESTIR YOURSELF
dragons-
dragons everywhere

where are the dragons?

where are you?

I am beset by dragons my love!
There has been perfidy
in this strange land of iron islands
and wraiths that drape themselves in steam

are you in the kitchen?

no kitchen could produce a bellow so terrifying
nor a stench so foul
as that of these steel dragons

I think you are in the kitchen

they perch upon nests of flame

yes

you are absolutely in the kitchen

that is the tea kettle

I WILL SLAY THEM ALL

please do not stab my tea kettle

ah, dear one
your concern for my safety does you credit
but a man must be brave
where is my steed
where is Rocinante
I REQUIRE SWIFTNESS

Mallory Ortberg, Texts From Jane Eyre:

And Other Conversations with Your Favorite Literary Characters

This is such a fun frippery of a book. It didn't always hit the mark, but when it did I couldn't help laughing. Out loud, of course!